LETTER TO SINGLE SISTERS
Genesis 3:16
The misuse of authority by men came as a result of the curse, Genesis 3:16. For this not to happen, a man has to come out from under the curse and be subject to the lordship of Jesus not to come under the effect of that curse.
When it is a curse, without help, that is where a natural man will tend towards, towards the curse that allows women to be abused by authority.
The curse says, "The desire of the woman shall be for her husband and he shall rule over her", Genesis 3:16.
When Apostle Paul was talking to couples in Ephesians 5:22-33, he was talking to those that have been redeemed from the curse of the law and have come under the lordship of Jesus Christ, Galatians 3:13
Not just those that have been redeemed from the curse alone but has also come under the lordship of Christ.
Only men who has come under the lordship of Jesus Christ can have a marriage void of the effect of the curse.
No man that is not submitted to the lordship of Jesus is capable within himself not to abuse his power of authority.
By this, I mean not using it for his personal and selfish interest only.
Many women are in constant sorrow in their marriages, because of the effect of the curse yet their desire is still for their husband.
This is why you will see a woman suffering terribly from the misuse of authority of a man and still remain there living in sorrow, not knowing what to do till she dies there in sorrow. It is not her fault, it is the curse!
The solution is for the man to come under the lordship of Jesus Christ not just be born again alone.
The kind of love that can make a man not to misuse his authority only come from Christ when He is the foundation of their home (Lord and saviour of the two)
The degree to which a husband has come under the lordship of Jesus Christ is the degree to which he will not use his God given authority to Lord it over his wife but to nurture her because after the fall, all men (men and women) became selfish thinking about themselves only and not others.
It is worse in some homes than in others where the man so much abuse his authority to the extent that he wasted his wife's destiny by the kinds of law and restrictions that he set in their home.
Men ought to be groomed before marriage on how to use authority so that they don't use it wrongly or abuse it.
This is why a man that has not been trained on how to handle and use authourity shouldn't get into marriage at all otherwise the havoc he will use his God given authority to wreck in his family will be unquantifiable and irredeemable.
Many have not consciously learn how to use authority, they were just fortunate to have been raised and groomed by those who used authority well. So they learnt it by watching them and it stuck to them as they grew up.
Men should be mentored that every authority comes with accountability. Only God has authority without accountability, Romans 13:1.
Every man is accountable first unto God and can be call to question anytime to give account of how he has been using his authority whether to build up or tear down.
If a woman mistakenly marry a man that is not accountable to man or God, she is bound to suffer seriously because that authority will be used to cage and restrict and reduce her instead of using it to build her and nurture her.
To the degree to which your man is accountable is the degree to which you are safe in that marriage.
What the man believes generally about women is something you should find out, is it as a tool to be used and caged in the kitchen and bedroom or his piece of property that has no voice or opinion?
Does he think your desires and dream is not important, that God created you for him only to support him in whatever he feels like doing?
Note that I am not talking about how he responds or relate to you personally, one on one, there is a lot of pretense in that one many times because he will most likely tell you what you want to hear.
Rather I am talking his view of women in general as a wife, mother, CEO, leader, career, in business. Whatever he has come to believe about women in general is how he will treat you when you are married.
All the ones he told you personally while you are courting are specifically and specially prepared and made up for you to feel good, that is not the real man you are looking at.
So, before you submit your life and destiny to any man, make sure he is a man that is accountable and believes in team work and partnership, not an authoritarian that only commands without giving any room for reasoning whatsoever.
Authority and power is highly intoxicating, it takes the fear of God and accountability to bring it under control.
This is why authority should not be given to one who is a child or very selfish, he will misuse it! Ecclesiastes 10:16
One thing you as a woman must look for in a man is not how tall or handsome he is but how selfless is he, how kind hearted is he?
Some.men value everyother women but not their wives because they see her as their property.
Is he a.man of value, can he marry or sleep with just about anybody? A pepper seller and a graduate are of the same worth in his eyes. Both are good.as wife material in his eyes.
If he is very selfish and always consider himself only when he is making decision that will affect both of you or your family, that is a red flag.
I know women in marriages that are not submissive to their husband again because they no longer trust the decision making ability of that man because he has endangered their lives too many times for them to completely submit to him in all things any further.
He just makes decision on the impulse as if he is still single and no body will be affected by the consequences of his decision making.
All that he expects from the wife is that she falls inline without any questioning once he informs her of what he has already concluded.
Would we say those women are wrong?
When you are dating a man and he is the one that decides everything and only informs you after he is done even if it is in seemingly small small things, that is a red flag for you to be courteous because that character will be more profound once you get married.
Marriage has a way of enhancing who people truly are, marriage is an enhancer it doesn't change people it only brings out what has been there all these while in a more profound way.
The reason why this is so is because power and authority has now been handed formerly over to that man by marriage.
This is a call for single ladies to not only pray but also be very watchful, Matthew 26:41.
Once you are picking all these red signals, he may not allow you be all that God wants you to be.
Watch and pray before you hand over your life and destiny to that man.
Once you are married you won't have too many options again but now that you are still single, the options are still very many.
Watch and pray don't just pray alone! Marry a man that will help bring out destiny in you and all that God has buried inside you, not one that will reduce you in life and destiny.
You do not want to know how many lives and destinies of women have been slaughtered and wasted on the altar of marriage.
You are already complete in Christ but you can be reduced to half or nothing of your single self by marrying a man who doesn't know what authority is used for and abuses it.
Ladies,it is wisdom to know in a relatinship whether friendship, courtship or marriage, when to sit and enjoy, when to stand and fight and when to just walk away.
I pray for you that you will not fall into the hands of a man that will waste your life and destiny in Jesus name.
PEACE
PRAYER: FATHER SHOW ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MYSELF AND THE PERSON YOU HAVE GIVEN ME TO MARRY. I COME UNDER YOUR LORDSHIP JESUS.
SALVATION PRAYER
Anything short of you being born again and living a life of holiness and purity hurt Jesus so much. But you can make things right here and now by saying this simple prayer and mean it genuinely from your heart:
Lord Jesus I come to you today. I acknowledge that I am a sinner and I cannot help myself. I repent of all my sins and I forsake them. Jesus, I invite you into my life, be my Lord, be my Saviour.
Wash me by your precious blood, forgive my sins and write my name in the book of life. From this day, I promise to follow you all the rest of my life. Help me Lord, in Jesus name, Amen. Congratulations you are now born again!
PEACE
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